What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

Yo momma is so ugly, that she has no mirrors in her home to avoid the feeling of disgust and sadness she gets whenever she sees her reflexion

What is it too late to do? Apologize...

why was the black man blind? because he was black.

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

just in time?

what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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