Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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its snowing on mount fuji

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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