how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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