How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Asians

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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