Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call someone who copies a previously posted anti-joke without doing any research to see if it has been posted before? a lazy good for nothing rectum licking testicle sucking gonad gobbling arse bandit with narcissism issues

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's brown and sticky A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is the difference between 10 and 3 7

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A girl gets raped -teagan d

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops