DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What doesn't kill you makes you injured

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

i find your gravy quite lumpy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops