How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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I'm a champion. I do what I want.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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A black man has a job.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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