What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a jew, a latino and an aboriginal walk into a bar this is an example of a great inter-racial comunity

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

thumb_up thumb_down +11

heads up!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

96

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red, violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

thumb_up thumb_down +11

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops