What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

Q: Whats black, white and red all over? A: not me

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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