Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

whats worse than jonny james obviously

what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

42, that is all

A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

There's a fine line between hyphenated words

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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