whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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"Why Do Dogs Bark ? " Because Thats What Their Suppose To Do !

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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