How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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I drive a 'rarri

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

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Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Why was the black boy late for school? He missed the bus

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what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

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Women drivers...

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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