Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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Women's Rights.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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