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If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

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my captcha says : forkin chickens

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

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Do u take sugar?

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u suck

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Anyone??????????/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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