How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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why was the black kid so good at basketball because he practiced a lot

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It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

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One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

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A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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woman's rights

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

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roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops