what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

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what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Whats 2+1? 2.

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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ok guys finish this joke: Im the biggest fag-got because_____________.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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This one time at band camp....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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