Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

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Wait what? I did not type that!

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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