What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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thats what she she. no really thats what she said

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Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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The dewey decimal system

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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