How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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knock knock get lost!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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