There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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how many neggers does it take to screw in a light bul.... Nvm, Neggers be too busy screwing ur wife, plus they're lazy.

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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GADZOOKS!

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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