yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats sadder than a lost baby deer? Im too lazy too think of the rest of the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There was a Black and a Mexican in a car, they were on their way to church.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops