Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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a horse nibbled a baby

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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Religion.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops