There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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