How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? What's up?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What's the difference between a bird and a fish ? They're both different, except the fish.

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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