What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

Grammer is very important

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

whats stupid and gay all of my friends

What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

A blind man walks into a wall.

Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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