You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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