25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

knock knock get lost!

Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

There is a middle-eastern man in customs with a turban and a briefcase and he is profiled by his race which is a sad fact of our society.

squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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