Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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My parents died!

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What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops