Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Christians pornstars.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

thumb_up thumb_down -43

The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

thumb_up thumb_down +44

there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +42

This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

thumb_up thumb_down +40

"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

21

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops