How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

What's fat and ginger? My dog.

I got shot once it hurt a lot

Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

A baby seal walks into a club

What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Walking.

How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

Anders Lungren is a worthless peice of scrub

Knock knock Who's there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ, your lord and savior.

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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