How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Solely for our entertainment purposes.

What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

Women's rights

Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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