Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Oh...okay, good.

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops