- Anti Joke

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

Q: wanna hear a racist joke? A: sure RB: You're pathetic!

what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

matt f stupid because no one likes him

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building