Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Jaden McMichael

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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A black person walks out of KFC

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. I'm not sure, because there are many farmers on this earth, and finding the same one that you are talking about, may be hard. It may take a while, but i'll get back to you as soon as possible, with an anwser.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

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A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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