Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

thumb_up thumb_down -9

yes... that's the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops