Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Make little things count Teach midgets math

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

7

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops