what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Now heres a boy who can't read. Ngjmhgmgk? MTGKMJHGMjhkmjh(hgjnhgfjhgfj nj nvj vj kvnmg ifh) njki nj jo ncj kgjkfngjfk jkn jkgfngkfn gkn kgfnigkfnmg km kgf kglfn kglf kglgkflnm klnm mklm khlgfpnkmfklnmlk mbk lm klgfnmk gfmkngfnkgfklfknm m k kf mkfl m k gflmgkffmkopfdjtorper srhes hngfdlj;sdnht rktrtnr rdpkng ngngf.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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My parents died!

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What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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