What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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Knock knock. Racism.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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