What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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a blond girl walks into a bar

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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