how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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HEY YOU!!!!

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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Donald Trump

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops