Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Jesus was a good guy

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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What number is funnier than 23? 24.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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