a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops