You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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