Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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donald................duck for president

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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