A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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Pinus Testicles

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops