My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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What's clear and wet? water

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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