What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

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If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops