What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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How come grilled cheese?

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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your mother

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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