there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

look in the sky! its a bird, its a plane........ Its Miles

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Youve got to spell the name right you dead dylan fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops