Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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It smells like triangles in here.

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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