2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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