I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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No.

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What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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